Perfection

No-one is perfect, except Jesus.

That is what my grandmother would always tell me when I’d hesitate or beat myself up about not doing something ‘just so’. To this day I still hear her reminder when I don’t meet my expectations.

Today it is really hard for me to write this blog entry. I’ve had trouble deciding what to write about. When I have an idea I poo poo it as either too much about me or not enough about me. I still want things to be ‘just so’ and I am a prize fighter when it comes to beating myself up.

“They” say write about what you know.

In the past I made choices to say yes to doing things I didn’t want to do, to not saying things I wanted to say, to ignore my intuition/my gut feelings. I avoided conflict for fear (there’s that word I’m trying to banish) of losing relationships. I tried to be perfect. No, I tried to be perfectly agreeable. I wasn’t 100% myself. I was authentic but not fully authentic.

I am learning to let go of my worries and leap.

Each time catch myself censoring myself, wondering how others would react, I have been challenged by my Courage Circle to put a quarter in a mason jar. The incentive being when I meet up with my Circle again that I have to give the jar to the political party I oppose. Let’s just freaking say that the son of a bitch ain’t gonna get any of my money! It’s been seven days since the challenge began, I owe him $5, and I’m being much more authentic.

Last week I told my friend “God, you look like hell!”

She had been out exercising. Her hair was messy. She was sweaty. Her face was flush. She was breathing hard. My friend was Me looking in the mirror!

When I caught myself saying out loud “you look like hell” I realized (with horror) that I would never say that to my best friend or to any body. I shouldn’t say it to myself!! So I flipped it and told myself some truths –

• I am beautiful inside and out.
• I am blessed to have a capable and healthy body.
• I am a loving and lovable person.

And I reminded myself that no-one is perfect, except Jesus. 🙂

Recommended viewing

I love Guy Winch. I can watch his TED Talk about emotional hygiene over and over and over again (and do). Guy inspires me to treat myself like my best friend and reinforces the importance of taking care of our mental health (emotions, mind) just as we would our bodies.