Tomorrow is the “Grand Opening” of this blog.
I’ve been writing for a week and have felt exhilarated each time I hit the Publish button to put myself out there.
I wrote in my first entry about the challenge my Courage Collective gave me.
For every time I censor myself I have been putting a quarter in a mason jar. When our Circle meets again they’re making me donate the money to the political party I oppose. 😱
The mason jar challenge came into being when we were going around the room introducing ourselves and I was very guarded (as usual) giving only need to know information. Being aware it was a courage group, I had wanted to offer up my WHYs of being there
- To be more trusting.
- To own my manic-depressive experiences.
- To own my cancer experiences.
- To share my stories in the hope of helping others (especially young women who are where I once was).
but I didn’t.
When we broke into small groups to set our intentions,
I was able to confess what I had wanted to share. I felt the fear and did it anyway remembering what a new friend from NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) said “Have you tried to just put it out there and see what the response is? Sometimes you should let people surprise you.”
And they did. Now I have around $10 in a mason jar for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named 🤦and this blog 😊
Some Bits & Pieces
1 – My first manic depressive episode happened when I was a freshman in high school. It is there that I learned that to be vulnerable is to be weak. To be weak is to be a target.
I remember when classmates extended me a kindness when I was being bullied or having a panic attack or a really bad day. These are the classmates that you haven’t talked to in 20 years but if you called or texted them today they’d be the first in line with a shovel to sandbag around your house bringing ten other people to help. To them, I say “Thank you.”
I love Brené Brown but vulnerability has a time and place. From my experience, high school is not it. I don’t know if this is the right place, but it is definitely the time. I’m never going to be any younger than I am now.
2 – Why George? That is none of your business.
I will not be sharing All, but I do have some Bits & Pieces.